Have you ever felt you agree to too many things and don’t know how to say no? Moreover, have you felt that you don’t want to disappoint others even if it disappoints you? If yes, perhaps you don’t want others to think you’re rude or unkind. You don’t want to be perceived as vulnerable, demanding, or selfish. This is what you need to stop thinking about and maintain some boundaries. When you define certain boundaries, your relationship will grow much better as setting boundaries in a friendship has several benefits.
Setting boundaries can save you from stress and give you a sense of control and freedom over how you want to live and spend your time. Establishing boundaries can be good for you as well as the people around you. As it helps to set clear limitations and expectations for each other.
When you define boundaries, people tend to know their limits and they respect what you are Ok with or Not Ok with. The people who cannot respect your boundaries may be the ones you do not need in your life.
Friends are indeed our chosen family. We choose our friends and make them a part of our lives. Friends provide us with moral support and stand by us when times are tough. But it is equally important to have some space and boundaries in between so that your bond blooms with time rather than falling apart.
Suggested readings: How to Make Friends at Any Age? and Signs That You Are In A Toxic Relationship
Boundaries Protect Your Energy
Sometimes, it happens that when someone is really close to you, they run to you whenever they get into any problems. Whether it is a small thing or a big one, they come to you without thinking twice about it. Being a good friend it becomes your responsibility to help your friend out of that situation. But meanwhile, you are worried about your problems and it becomes difficult for you to focus on them.
Then also, you try to solve their problems by neglecting yours. By doing so you are exhausting yourself and you end up wasting your time and energy on their problems rather than thinking about yours. Some or the other day, it might become the reason for an argument or fight between you both. So it is of no good, right?
You should make yourself your priority. Take care of yourself first, and then you can help others better. Save your energy for more productive things in life. Invest most of your time in yourself.
There should be a boundary between friends. When you show respect, you both get into a mature relationship. And for a friendship to last forever respecting the time, problems and space of the other person is equally important.
Boundaries Reduce Resentment
Almost everyone knows what it feels like to be taken advantage of, right? This is one of the worst feelings when someone uses you and the next day just forgets that you even exist.
Not only do you feel betrayed by someone you trusted, but you also feel pretty stupid for getting yourself into this situation. You might even blame yourself.
But it is totally up to you how much liberty you are giving to someone. Stop always being available for everyone and don’t always go out of the way for the people who do not value you or the things you do for them. Learn to say No, it can be one of the best ways to keep you away from resentment.
It’s not like you don’t help your friends or don’t be available for them. It is about being aware of when to help and when not to. You have your own life, your own mental and physical health. Prioritise them and stay away from getting into any resentment.
Boundaries Increase Relationship Longevity
One of the benefits of setting boundaries in a friendship is that when you give others space and don’t try to be all clingy your relationship, grows more, matures and becomes stronger. Remember that everyone needs space and some time alone to think more effectively.
If someone does not respect or care about your space then, are they really a good friend of yours?
When you define certain boundaries in your relationship, both of you know your limits and act accordingly. This may prevent you from an argument or fight and could save your friendship.
Boundaries Weed Out Toxic Relationships
As you set certain boundaries, be open and communicate about it with your friends. Then observe whether your boundaries are being respected or getting ignored. If your friend respects and cares about your boundaries, it means that he or she really cares about you and is your true friend.
If your boundaries are not being respected and they get neglected or ignored, you might consider getting out of that friendship. Because what is the need of a friend who cannot understand you and respects your decision, right?
That sort of friendship is downright toxic and it can hamper your mental well-being. Because of them you will always be stressed out and could not get the space you actually needed.
Defining boundaries will filter out toxic friends. Rather than focusing on the toxic ones you can invest your time with the ones who really care about you.
Also, read: 9 Ways to Foster A Friendship Forever
Setting Boundaries Help Solidify An Abundance Mindset
An abundance mentality means you believe that there are more than enough resources, people, opportunities, wealth, etc, which will contribute to your happiness. And not only that but there’s more than enough for everyone.
If you have a mindset like you have limited opportunities you will try to stick to what you already have, because you don’t know if you will ever have the opportunity to get it again. But it’s better to let go rather than have one who does not consider your opinion and thoughts.
When you have an abundance mindset then you will not hold on to someone or something that is hurting you or is not good for you in any way. Setting boundaries will let you discriminate between what is good and what is bad and then give you a clear idea of what and what not to do. You can then make the decision more accurately and do what is necessary for you.