Have you ever felt that you love a person, but as time passes by you don’t have the same feelings? Well, sorry to burst your bubble but you were not in love, it was just an infatuation that’s gone with time. It’s normal, you are not the only one getting confused about it, many people get trapped in love vs. infatuation.
Love and infatuation are both intense emotions that one feels for someone. It happens that people get confused between these two. Both of these feelings differ in terms of the reality of love, intensity, and final outcome.
Both of these go hand in hand, but it is not at all true that if you feel infatuated with a person you are in love.
What is Infatuation?
Infatuation is mere attraction or attachment to someone. You can be attracted to a person’s personality, looks, knowledge, etc. which means you like certain things about that person.
It is nearly impossible for any to see clearly while you are engulfed in that glittering infatuation. When you are deeply infatuated with the other person, it can be difficult to recognise the red flags or even think clearly whether it is love or not.
Some signs of infatuation:
- You think about the person all the time- From the time you wake up till you sleep, you will have thoughts about that person. You Daydream and think about different scenarios.
- You feel attracted even when you have spent very little time together- It’s possible to be super infatuated even if you have spent little time with them. You get butterflies in your stomach whenever you see them.
- You see this person as the one- It is true that at some point everyone thinks about how their partner should be like. Infatuation feels like you’ve found the ‘one’ even though your feelings are not deep enough.
- Your feelings become obsession- You feel like you are addicted to that person. You try to seek their attention or try to impress them.
What is love?
True love, as opposed to infatuation, encourages honesty and authenticity. You can’t truly love someone unless you understand their essence: their hopes and goals for the future, their soul’s desire, their heart’s passion, and the values that define them. When you love someone you accept them for who they are. Their scars or flaws do not bother you and the affection will not at all decrease.
Let’s move ahead and get to know the things that will help you to differentiate between love and infatuation. So, here are the 3 things to know about love and infatuation that will help you to discriminate between both terms.
Perfection vs. individuality
Infatuation can lead you to see someone as flawless or an ideal person. You only try to think and look at good things. You tend to assume that the person is just perfect for you despite the evidence of differences between both of you. Your thoughts and perception to look at the person makes that person perfect. You do not bother to see the negative sides or any bad behaviour.
Infatuation may end when the person stops doing what you like about them the most. They may change and then you will not like that. As a result, the bond you two shares will be affected.
Whereas, love gives you the power of acceptance. You accept the person from your heart as it is. You cherish the moments spent together and do not fantasize about them. It helps you to acknowledge the individuality of the person rather than trying to portray the person as someone that they are not.
Love is empathetic and kind. Regardless of the flaws, your love for the person will not change. Your perception of looking at that person will not change. This is one of the most simple yet complicated difference of love vs. infatuation.
Assumptions vs. intimacy
The majority of what you know about the person is superficial. Based on their appearance or how they behave in a group. You feel attracted towards them but you don’t completely know them. Because when you know someone completely either you will fall in love or you will not get along with that person.
True love entails knowing things about your partner that other people don’t. Experiencing vulnerability and emotional need, and also being trusted with potentially harmful information. Love is not about mere physical attraction, it is about being available emotionally.
Also read: How Do You Know You Love Someone? (For Both Boys & Girls)
Planning the future
It’s also common for people who are in love to fantasize more about the ideal future they might have. They can be more materialistic or romanticising but not practical. It might be possible that you are the only one thinking and the other person is not.
Infatuation leads you to think that the other person also loves you without that being the case. In this case, you are hampering yourself by overthinking the whole situation and at last you will end up getting hurt.
Whereas when you are in love, you plan your future together practically rather than focusing on the fun or happy side. You tend to discuss the career plan, stability etc. All these discussions will happen with the concern and equal participation of both. And it can have a conclusion or outcome. Because love conquers all and no one can stop it.
Conclusion
Infatuation can be described as a fantasy-based, passionate desire. It can keep you from recognising their flaws and may even put you in an unhealthy situation. While infatuation can lead to love, you may need to let go of the fantasy and accept your differences, flaws, and uniqueness.
Love is frequently grounded in reality and is nourished by closeness and understanding of the other person. You value your partner’s differences, enjoy genuine intimacy, and collaborate as a team. Therefore, if you want to get out of the trap of love vs. infatuation be mindful before making any decesion.
Also Read: Do’s and Don’ts in a Relationship